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Monday, March 18, 2013

Insecure? Who Me?


MUSE MONDAY
A JOURNEY FROM “THE END” TO THE BEGINNING

There’s a fine line between confidence and abject insecurity. For an author, the abject insecurity can sneak up at anytime and stall you, or at least convince you every word going from head to paper has bypassed the creative juice chamber coming out dry and tasteless. Such is the journey. And we all travel this road differently.

I love to write about characters on a journey, traveling both the physical and the mental roads. Along the fictional journey I create pitfalls and summits, conflicts and resolutions. The road to publication is no different, although as authors we’d like to skip the pitfalls and conflicts.

The abject insecurity I mentioned earlier usually hits me three times when I’m writing a book:  two chapters short of completion, while I’m writing the synopsis, and again right after I type “the end”.  I always manage to muddle through the last two chapters, a whip in one hand holding off my negative inner critic. I wring those chapters out, a word, no a syllable at a time. I won’t even go into the torture of writing a synopsis. But the final phase, the now-I’m-finished-and-who-will-publish-this-inadequate-book is the hardest to overcome.
So far, I’ve been lucky. I’ve published most of what I’ve written. Now I’m writing a three book series. Not only do I have to sell a publisher on one story, but I have to convince them to take all three. I’d hate to break a set.

Rejection is hard to take regardless of how thick your hide. Rejection is no easier to take once you’re published. I haven’t received a no on my series yet. I’m still waiting to hear. Personally, I think it’s my best work ever – positive thinking helps. 

I haven’t found a cure for conquering the insecurities, but perseverance gets me over the crest. The journey has to have a happily ever after ending, and the trick is to not stop until you arrive.

No two people look at a book exactly the same. Is there a book you’ve read and raved about that a friend found dull or boring?

15 comments:

  1. You remind me of the children's book "The Little Engine That Could"...never give up!!! Good Luck on the series, know it must be hard waiting...hang in there :)

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  2. Uggg! Insecurity!!!

    After writing all my life and being published for the last few years, I finally broke down and started a Facebook "author" page.

    I didn't want to do it. Trying to get people to "like" it reminds of being a shy little girl who was always picked last for the volley ball team.

    Uggg!!!

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    1. Oh, Liberty, I know what you mean. I was that kid too. And every time I lose a like, I think - "what did I do?" LOL

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  3. Well said, Brenda. I totally share in those sentiments. I have these insecurity attacks on a weekly basis, but then I read blogs like yours and I'm ready to tackle the next chapter.

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    1. Thanks, Charmaine. I think we are alone so much with our craft and our doubts seem like we're the only one in this boat. I think our boat is loaded!

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  4. We all have insecurity with our writing. I think that is what makes us strive to be better writers. I also really value my author friends who understand what I'm going through.

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  5. Brenda, the two of us need to get together and have a martini...or two...or maybe three. I'm RIGHT where you are. I wrote (am writing) my first ever series, think it's probably the bestest, funnest thing I've ever done...and I'm waiting, and waiting, and WAITING to hear back from several publishers. I keep telling myself this is the best part. The part where I can still dream and imagine all the wonderful things that will happen when that contract offer finally comes in. Will I get to meet new friends? Will I find another publishing family? What about sales? Will I finally achieve what I've always hoped for in my career? To me, the waiting is the hardest...and also the best part. It's the time when hope lives, you know? You must let us know when that offer comes in! I'll be adding a prayer for your series right alongside mine every night!

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    1. AJ - oh good luck to you! Did you query the publishers or do you have an agent? This is my first try using an agent. I thought the waiting time would be shorter but apparently not. She can get in doors I can't but those doors don't open any faster than the ones I can knock on. I'll be hoping for you too!

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  7. The last couple of chapters are always where I falter, too. They're the hardest to write, the point where I'm most certain I'm going to screw everything up and the whole book will be a wash.

    Good luck with your trilogy!

    As to books I've hated that friends have loved, there's plenty ^^ It's the best and worst part of books :3

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  8. The hard part of submitting? You know in your heart of hearts what you've written IS good; great even. You know your fans will really like it. BUT. You have to get that ms. by the Ogre at the bridge, and you've got only one shot at it.

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    1. That's funny, Sonya. And precisely true!!

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