A Woman's Happiness Counts by Sadira Stone #romance #SingleMom #WickedWednesday

WICKED WEDNESDAY

It's my pleasure to have Sadira Stone on Discover... today. This is a wickedly good and insightful take on Wicked Wednesday.

Thanks for hosting me today, Brenda! Truly, the generosity of the author community is astounding.

For Wicked Wednesday, I’d like to address the reason many romance readers will shun my latest book, and why I wrote it anyway.

On page one, Anna Khoury, the heroine of Delicious Heat: Bangers Tavern Romance 3, discovers her husband is cheating on her and kicks his sorry butt out. The very next day, she discovers she’s pregnant with his child. Imagine her painful dilemma: the marriage has been rocky for a long time. Brock was a wonderful boyfriend but dropped the act as soon as the honeymoon ended.

What’s the best choice for her child? Sacrifice her own happiness and settle for a neglectful, cheating husband? Will that warp her child’s notion of what love is and scar the child for life? Or should Anna strike out on her own, work out the best co-parenting arrangement she can with Brock, and be a strong, loving single mom?

Anna chooses the latter—obviously, since she’s a romance heroine and needs to get free of this loser to find real love. 😉 But she faces a mountain of resistance from relatives—her own, her ex’s, and her new boyfriend’s, who find her very wicked indeed for prioritizing her own happiness. After all, she’s a mom now, and a good mother is always selfless, right?

That last bit is what I’m pushing back against, having felt the scrape of that outdated expectation my whole life. I’ll spare you the details; suffice to say I get where Anna is coming from and refused to accept lousy treatment from someone who should have loved me and our child. Instead of being selfless above all, I think a mother’s most important job is to be a strong, loving role model, especially to her daughters.

In my view, raising your child to believe women’s happiness doesn’t count is wicked.

And I’ve encountered plenty of women my own age and younger who call me wicked for that point of view.

Others would call me wicked for portraying a pregnant woman as interested in intimacy, even though many pregnant women feel very amorous, especially during the second trimester. But that old Madonna/you-know-what dichotomy rears its ugly head. Wickedly, I dare show pregnant Anna as a woman in love—all the way in love.

I’m bracing myself for the negative reviews.

Why write the book, then? Anna and Diego’s meet-cute scene appears in Christmas Rekindled, Book One in the Bangers Tavern Romance series, and readers asked for their story. Besides, no book will please everyone, so why not write the book of my heart?

I adored writing Anna and Diego’s love story. A sweeter, more devoted cinnamon-roll hero you’ll never find—and he’s a chef! How could Anna resist?

Thanks again, Brenda, for this chance to meet your readers.

Delicious Heat: Bangers Tavern Romance 3, is available from all major online booksellers. 

Order your copy of Delicious Heat today! https://books2read.com/deliciousheat

Sadira Stone

Contemporary Romance with Heart and Heat

http://sadirastone.com

The Baby Arrives: A Story of Heaven and Hell

 2012 On the plains in Northern Arizona, two families joined forces and began the trials and tribulations of building a small family farm with nothing in the bank but love.

The last time I posted was March 4th. On March 5th all hell broke loose, with a big piece of heaven to balance it. According to the birthday book we have, March 5th is the day of heaven and hell. Our sweet Sadi Belle Whiteside, my first grandchild, entered our lives that day, and her birth date lived up to the hype.

All farm matters went on hold. All writing projects were suspended.

My daughter-in-law started labor at 6:00 am, March 4th. They admitted her into the birthing center that night about 10:30. We hung by the phone, but the night passed. On March 5th, we joined her parents in the waiting room vigil at the birthing center.

Proud Daddy wheels Sadi out

A little background: this had been one of the easiest pregnancies I'd ever witnessed. But then Christie is in amazing shape. She is a yoga practitioner, walks every day and eats incredibly healthy. She was bound and determined to have a total, no drug, natural delivery. Every indication was that she would.

Lance got zzz's while Grandpa rocked

First bottle during Mom's surgery

Okay - so - by the afternoon she was not progressing. Her back pain was so great she couldn't relax enough. She and my son finally agreed to an epidural. She quickly went from four to ten. Labor continued with my son coaching and Christie pushing. Then the contractions lessened, a side affect of the epidural. Unhappily, they consented to an inducing drug. But after over three hours of pushing, Sadi was stuck. The doctor rushed her in for an emergency C-section. At 5:24 pm, we had a beautiful granddaughter. The doctor said he'd never encountered this problem before. Christie has an odd shaped bone which turns in instead of out restricting the birth canal. Sadi's head stuck and she had the bump to prove it afterwards. Once they had her out, all seemed well. She immediately nursed, and Mom was beaming. An hour later, hell broke loose. By the time Christie made it back into surgery, she'd lost half her blood. It took eight units to get her through this. She'd pushed so hard she'd torn her cervix in two places. The surgeon did an amazing job of saving her and her chances for future children. We nearly lost her, and each day one of us tears up with the memory.

After several days in the hospital, Mom and daughter are home and doing fine. Christie has many weeks of recuperating to get through, but she's looking stronger each day. Sadi is a happy baby who is gaining weight and already has grandma and grandpa wrapped around her finger.


Yesterday was the first day we'd been able to turn some attention to the farm and me to my writing. I've just about finished trimming the blackberry rows. Frank and Lance got the supplies to build the green house. The watering system is on order. We couldn't wait any longer so we're funding it with credit. We hope to have two commercial crops, and I'll elaborate on that in future blogs.

For sure, life on Tortuga Flats Farm will never be the same!

How Cool Are Hiccups!!

2012 On the plains in Northern Arizona, two families joined forces and began the trials and tribulations of building a small family farm with nothing in the bank but love.

This has been the week of seeds.

The most important little seed growing in my daughter in laws womb is nearly full term. Not exactly farm talk, but I'm so excited that this soon to be event merits mentioning. Until this week, I haven't been able to catch Sadi Belle in movement. Every time I put my hand on Christie's belly, Sadi stills. I'm taking this as a good sign. Gramma could be the calming touch or the charming touch for our newest edition to the clan. Time will tell. But when Sadi had the hiccups this week, I finally felt the life. Pretty exciting. Then yesterday, I went to Christie's doctor appointment as a stand-in for Lance. When the doctor set his stethoscope on Christie, Sadi's heartbeat thumped loud and clear at 160. Beautiful. 

We also got out first batch of seeds for this year's garden. A new local supplier offers seeds by the bucket, and they're actually local heirloom seeds. I hadn't thought about where seeds come from could make a difference. It makes sense that seeds from a particular area are going to be more acclimated for that area. This bucket of seeds was reasonably priced, and even though we won't use some of them, the cost was still attractive. I'm sure we'll plant the broccoli, cabbage, carrots, cucumber, green beans, lettuce, onion, peas, peppers, spinach, tomatoes, squash and a multitude of herbs. There are several varieties on some of these seeds. There are four or five others we will most likely take a pass on. They also included marigold seeds for free which are natural pest control plants. Winter isn't nearly over, but I'm already anticipating watching our new crop spring from the warm earth.

What a rich spring and summer this will be with Sadi and the crop both blooming with growth.

Burn and Turn

2012 Somewhere in Northern Arizona, two families joined forces and began the trials and tribulations of building a small family farm with nothing in the bank but love.

What's in store for my Discover Yourself blog in 2013? Until now, I've blogged sporadically about my life on Tortuga Flats Farm. In 2013, I'm dedicating Thursdays on a regular basis for farm life talk. Muse Mondays will cover the other half of my life as an author. An occasional guest blogger will show up from time to time with something of interest.

Today is the launch of Tortuga Thursdays. We're in the cold, brown days of a prairie winter, which means we're also in the planning stages for next planting season. Our plans are extensive and intensive with a few secrets I can't reveal - yet.

Before the temps dropped too low, we bought a blow torch to burn off the dead vines, plants and weeds. Frank took care of step one. Then the planning continued.

We didn't intend on growing much beyond our own needs the first year, but we managed to do much better than that. The food bank and relatives received our overflow. We're ready to begin the expansion and turn this little farm into more. Our first step - the tractor. Remember, we're doing this on a shoestring budget. After much research, we ended up buying a 1943 Ford. Yeah, I had the same reaction - 1943?! But the reputation of being a workhorse and still going strong is true. Lance cleared and plowed all of our land in one very long day.

We've had the meeting on what to plant next year for our own consumption and what to plant for profit. Oh - there's an important word. We haven't purchased seeds yet. Our last frost isn't until the middle of May so there's no great hurry.

What we do have to do is get the greenhouse built. That's the next step and next expense. We want to have it built and ready to go by the end of February.

Meanwhile, Lance is studying seed catalogs, I'm painting walls inside, Christie is getting the baby's room ready and Frank fishes whenever he can.

The Humongous and the Sexy

Whenever it gets to be near the end of the year, I rethink how I want next year to go. I start making lists and marking the calendar for next year.

2013 is going to be a humongous year on Tortuga Flats. At least it should be. We have all kinds of ideas we're brainstorming. And then there's the baby! And then there's the hope I have for the mystery series I'm writing sold.

We'll need to quadruple this for next year

One of our last harvests

We're researching how we can get our other two acres farmed, what we should grow and how to sell the crop. Should we grow several things or specialize? What's our market? Two acres really isn't all that much land but still quite a bit for four people to handle. We're also brainstorming different ways to bring in help. I'm gathering Farmers' Markets information. Frank is researching crop prices and output per acre, etc. Lance is planning layout of the land and what equipment we're going to need. I'm looking into nontraditional avenues of funding while Frank is looking toward traditional means. Lance is on the lookout for the really nontraditional ideas. Hopefully, by the first of the year, a plan will unfold.

My sexy new hero looks like who??

I've established some self-imposed deadlines for my writing projects. I'm having a little trouble right now nailing down my latest hero, Mason. Who he is in my head is not translating on paper, but once I get that figured out, my newest novel needs to get completed.

I've decided to have a regular schedule for this blog and my web page newsletter. Next year I'll blog about the farm on Tortuga Thursdays. On Mondays I'll blog about writing. And occasionally I'll have guest bloggers on all kinds of subjects. I'd like to hear what you think about this sort of regular schedule. My web newsletter has only gone out sporadically when I've had something to announce. I'm going to start sending it out quarterly. If you'd like to get on that mailing list go here: http://www.brendawhiteside.com/contact.html#newsletter

Mom on her 80th last year

Last week, I spent three nights with my mom. The trip to the big city had three purposes - three month full body dermatology check, shopping with mom and an all day writers' workshop in Scottsdale. Mom and I shopped for two days straight at the mall. No wonder I'm under the weather today and staying in bed. I'm not a good shopper. But I felt like the country gal who couldn't get enough of the big city stores! My mom is eighty and she ran me ragged.

Wish I had some interesting pictures of Tortuga Flats to post, but this is that ugly in between time of year. In another week or so we'll (well, not me actually) burn and turn the land. I'll get some of that recorded.

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Sadie's first toy

While Frank and I were away on the weekend for my high school reunion in Phoenix and a lunch out on Sunday, Lance combed the fields for the last of many of the veggies. But he also said that if we don't get another freeze for a week or so, we could have a few more. And some of them actually like cold weather. We had a freeze Friday night which wiped out the last of all the squash and okra. It also damaged tomato plants but they're about done anyway. Today he'll get the remaining cherry tomatoes and large green tomatoes off. The peppers are done.

End of season ugly cabbage

These final harvested veggies aren't pretty. They're survivors, and I'm sure they still have plenty of nutrition.

We might see more cabbage and broccoli. The Brussels sprouts are just now sprouting. In fact, I'd forgotten we had planted them. I walk by them all the time but they look a lot like cabbage plants. I thought they were duds - no heads forming. Now I find out I should've pinched them back from the beginning to encourage side chutes. They have one main trunk with lots of little nubs showing, so here's hoping.

Relish, pickles, peppers, green sauce

Our freezer is full and the canned food has spilled out of the pantry and now lines the tops of the kitchen cabinets. This winter will be fun every time we try a new jar!
We bought a flame throwing thing to help with clean up and weeding. With Frank's discount at Home Depot, it was only $45 and will be well worth the expense. Some of our weeds are small trees. We'll scorch some of them then Lance will till back into the soil. Compost!

The high school reunion was fun. My closest friends from those days were not there; two of them are deceased. But I recognized a lot of faces - although some I had to look at the faces on their name tags. I had a lot of acquaintances in high school, never fit with any one group, so I knew a few people from all the different clicks. Although I enjoyed those years, I would NEVER want to go back. We stayed at my mom's in Sun City. Friends took us to lunch on Sunday for Frank's birthday next weekend. It was beautiful eating on the patio of Dillon's on Lake Pleasant. Great weekend.

The clutch on the chevy is shot. We have an appointment to take it in on Wednesday. $700. I practically cried. Lance and Christie sold their old clunker a few weeks ago so we are sharing our two vehicles until they get another. Which means they will pay half the clutch cost, but still... A bit of a set back for some other needed things around here.

Have you ever sold gold? I just did. I have, no had now, a gold charm bracelet that my mother-in-law put together for me of all the highlights of my life at that point in time. But I never wear it, and she is gone. So I sold it. I can't use the money to fix the car. We already had it earmarked for the back up pump on our well which is even more expensive than the car expense. If we were to lose electricity for any length of time, we wouldn't have water. Hate spending money on something 'just in case' but farmer Lance is pretty adamant about this.

On the brightest side - Christie's tummy is growing. My granddaughter is now active and making herself known. They're calling her Sadie Belladonna. Sadie Bell for short. I saw a rocking horse that makes noises when you touch the ear. I wanted to buy it so bad but seemed foolish to buy something that wouldn't get used for about three years, so I walked away from it. Ha. Went back the next day and got it. It'll look great just sitting in a corner of the nursery waiting for Sadie Bell to climb on. Next year will be a ton of fun!