MUSE MONDAY
Writing one of those favorite scenes, or lots of favorite scenes, is exactly what authors strive to do. Welcome my guest, Karen Hulene Bartell as she muses on what makes a scene so memorable.
Thanks so much for hosting
me on your blog. It’s a pleasure to be here!
We all have favorite
scenes—but why? What about it attracts you? Does the rhythm of the words
or the conversational lilt appeal to you? Does the imagery evoke memories or
unexpressed emotions? Does the scene’s action grab your senses or transport you
to another time or place?
Following is one of my
favorite scenes from Wild Rose Pass, and in this blog, I’ll try to figure
out why, so in the future, I and, hopefully, you can write other “favorite”
scenes.
Cadence’s fingertips grazed Ben’s thigh,
and she caught her breath.
He bristled as his gaze locked with hers.
Then he inched closer, leaning into her space.
As if magnetized, she inclined her body
toward his. How will his lips feel on mine? Eager to learn, she closed
her eyes, parted her lips, and waited…
Moments passed.
“We’d better head back.”
His words sounded gruff and strangled.
Opening her eyes wide, she stared horror-struck. Did I just make a fool of
myself? Huffing, she jerked the reins. “Fine,” she called over her shoulder
as she wheeled around her horse…
It’s almost a first kiss scene—yet not. Interest ignites.
Sexual tension builds, piques, and vanishes. The frisson turns to friction, with
humiliation and anger closely following.
Have you ever had your anticipations crushed? Let’s say I can
relate, which makes the scene more poignant. In fewer than a hundred words, the
heroine sizzles through a range of emotions, from initial attraction to expectant
arousal, to disappointment, then mortification, and finally hell-hath-no-fury rage.
As the reader, I’m involved and absolutely on Cadence’s side!
Then in the next chapter, I read Ben’s side of the vignette’s tiff:
What was I thinking? Bad enough she’s the captain’s
daughter—cultured and educated out East—but she’s West’s woman, and he outranks
me.
Being outranked in the cavalry, Ben must be realistic, but feeling
outclassed, he understandably displays prudence.
As the reader, I empathize with him, which creates a moral dilemma.
Who do I root for—Ben or Cadence?
So why is the pseudo seduction scene my favorite? Partly because it’s
pivotal in changing the protagonists’ relationship and heightening the story’s subsequent
tension. Partly because it’s the moment when one protagonist’s reasoning
counteracts the other’s and places me in a “what happens next” frame of mind.
Who do I root for—Cadence or Ben?
So the next time you find a scene intriguing and pause to reread
it, analyze why it appeals before you read on. You may just discover the
trick to writing more emotionally engaging scenes.
Wild Rose Pass
by Karen Hulene Bartell
Blurb:
Cadence McShane, free-spirited
nonconformist, yearns to escape the rigid code, clothes, and sidesaddles of
1880s military society in Fort Davis, Texas. She finds the daring new
lieutenant exhilarating, but as the daughter of the commanding officer, she is
expected to keep with family tradition and marry West Point graduate James
West.
Orphaned, Comanche-raised, and
always the outsider looking in, Ben Williams yearns to belong. Cadence embodies
everything he craves, but as a battlefield-commissioned officer with the
Buffalo Soldiers instead of a West Point graduate, he is neither accepted into
military society nor considered marriageable.
Can two people of different worlds,
drawn together by conflicting needs, flout society and forge a life together on
the frontier?
Excerpt:
Reining his horse between catclaw
and prickly-pear cactus, Ben Williams squinted at the late summer sun’s low
angle. Though still midafternoon, shadows lengthened in the mountains. He clicked
his tongue, urging his mare up the incline. “Show a little enthusiasm, Althea.
If we’re not in Fort Davis by sunset, we’ll be bedding down with scorpions and
rattlesnakes.”
As his detachment’s horses
clambered up Wild Rose Pass, the only gap through west Texas’ rugged Davis
Mountains, Ben kept alert for loose rocks or hidden roots, anything that might
trip his mount. A thick layer of fallen leaves created a pastiche of color
shrouding the trail from view. He glanced up at the lithe cottonwood trees lining
the route, their limbs dancing in the breeze. More amber and persimmon leaves
loosened, fell, and settled near the Indian pictographs on their tree trunks.
When he saw the red- and yellow-ochre drawings, he smiled, recalling the
canyon’s name—Painted Comanche Camp.
“How far to Fort Davis,
lieutenant?” called McCurry, one of his recruits.
“Three hours.” If we keep a steady
pace.
Without warning, the soldier’s
horse whinnied. Spooking, it reared on its hind legs, threw its rider, and
galloped off.
As he sat up, the man groaned,
caught his breath, and stared into the eyes of a coiled rattler, poised to
strike. “What the…?”
Flicking its tongue, hissing, tail
rattling, the pit viper was inches from the man’s face.
A sheen of sweat appeared above
the man’s lip. “Lieutenant—”
Buy Links:
About the Author:
Author of the Trans-Pecos, Sacred Emblem, Sacred Journey,
and Sacred Messenger series, Karen is a best-selling author, motivational
keynote speaker, wife, and all-around pilgrim of life. She writes
multicultural, offbeat love stories that lift the spirit. Born to rolling-stone
parents who moved annually, Bartell found her earliest playmates as fictional
friends in books. Paperbacks became her portable pals. Ghost stories kept her
up at night—reading feverishly. The paranormal was her passion. Westerns spurred
her to write (pun intended). Wanderlust inherent, Karen enjoyed traveling,
although loathed changing schools. Novels offered an imaginative escape. An
only child, she began writing her first novel at the age of nine, learning the
joy of creating her own happy endings. Professor emeritus of the University of
Texas at Austin, Karen resides in the Hill Country with her husband Peter and
her “mews”—three rescued cats and a rescued *Cat*ahoula Leopard dog.
Connect with Karen:
Brenda, thanks so much for hosting me today! It's a pleasure to discuss our craft!
ReplyDeleteKaren then pleasure is all mine. Great post.
DeleteI love your analysis. I've always thought anticipation is as much fun as the actual event.
ReplyDelete"Anticipation as much fun as the actual event" - couldn't agree more, Jennifer! BUT the actual event must follow - otherwise the anticipation quickly becomes frustration. Thanks SO much for dropping by!
DeleteVery interesting analysis, Karen. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteAppreciate your kind words - and your stopping by! Hope you found some gem you hadn't already discovered on your own!
DeleteNice to read about your work and your scene. Thanks, vb
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for stopping by, Vicki!
DeleteGreat scene! You'e managed to put us on BOTH sides, actually, which is no easy task.
ReplyDeleteBless you, Dee/Ann - appreciate your kind words! Thanks for stopping in!
DeleteLovely scene and post, Karen. Wishing you great success with the book!
ReplyDeleteJudy, thank you so much for your kind words - and for stopping by!
ReplyDeleteI know I have favorite scenes in my books, too. Your new one sounds great! Best of luck on it!
ReplyDelete